5. I specifically changed the way I said things, and I added in a lot more detail. I also Think the way I worded things the second time were better than how I said it the first.

6. I think the peer review and shearing my essay with an adult helped me improve my writing the best for many reasons. First of all, it gave me feed back of what others think of what I wrote. They can help me make a sentence more clear if I need to and also they can check for spelling or grammar mistakes. I liked having a parent read my essay because then I get an older persons perspective on what I wrote and they may catch mistakes better than students can.

7. I think what will help me improve my writing this year is having a few different people read my writing because then I can see what multiple people think of it. Also, if people make notes on it, then I can remember them for the next paper I write to try to make it better than the one before.

8. There are many things that I can do to make me a netter writer but I think something I need to work on the most is not adding too much information in my paper. Adding information is obviously good but sometimes if you add too much then it will cause you to have run on sentences and you may forget to add in the things that are required to be in the paper.

Summer Reading timed essay

      Over the summer, I read the book "Choke". The theme of the book is don't let anyone pressure you into doing something if you don't want to do it.
       The first detail is that the main character didn't want to play the choking game. The choking game is when someone chokes another person and if they want them to stop, they squeeze their shoulder but they have to trust that the person choking them will let go.  If they don't tap out, then they pass out for a few minutes. The main character, Chloe, got forced to play the game by the "new girl." She said to Chloe that if they didn't play, then they are no longer going to be friends, so of course she ended up playing. The first time they played, she tapped out. The new girl got very upset and didn't talk to her for a few days. She got pressured to do it again, but this time promised not to tap out just so she could keep her friend. I think that Chloe didn't need to feel pressured into doing it and she should've realized that obviously the new girl wasn't truly her friend if she got mad over stupid things that got seriously injure you.
       The second detail is Chloe was just playing this game so she could be popular and be like everyone else, therefor she had to play the game. Whenever Chloe wouldn't play she would threaten to not be her friend anymore. Later on, she figured out why the new girl moved to their school. It was because they played "the choking game' at her old school and she ended up getting expelled because of how dangerous it was. By the end of the book, the "new girl" had permanent brain damage from the game. She would never have a normal life again. If I were in Chloe's position, I would never play the game again, and I never would play it to start. She should've realized how dangerous it really was and also should've told a teacher what was going on. I understand she wanted to be popular, but Chloe made it obvious she didn't feel comfortable playing the game, so she should've just never played.
        The theme of the book was to not let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, like the new girl pressuring Chloe into playing the game. Chloe realized all the consequences and thought being safe was a lot better than changing your life forever.